We Grew Up..
As I walked home I saw two other children playing, one was a boy the other..a little girl. The boy didn’t look any older than 3-4, he was cute.. Called the little girl over when he found a bug. “Look it’s a…” I forgot what he had called it but.. it was some sort of bug X3 “wanna see it?!” “Yeah!” the little girl responded. And as I passed by, I smiled and thought to myself, “Where did my innocence go to?” I grew up.. It wasn’t until then that I had realized how fast time had gone by. It felt like it was only yesterday that I had moved to Brawley and enrolled as a 3rd grader at Oakley Elementary and now I’m a sophomore in Brawley Union. As time goes on, friends do too. Those we remember hanging out with before are now going onto their path we call life. As the days go by, I find myself alone.. Those that meant the most to me are slowly leaving. I being the youngest in the group, am left behind. The one I love the most and call Blake, my boyfriend, fiance, best friend, my life..♥ is leaving to San Diego this Sunday and all I can think about is how much I’m going to miss him and all the tears that are going to flow down my cheeks. I have fears like any other person in a long distance relationship, but slowly..letting those fears die. A wise man once told me that a relationship without trust is a fruitless one. Love turns into infatuation, lust, possessiveness, etc. I cried my eyes out, and began to accept that Blake was leaving.. All I can do now is hope and have faith that he’ll come home to me as soon as he graduates♥ And love me and no other that tries to steal him away..
I know I May Sound Like a Hypocrite
But I wanna get high with him just one last time before he leaves… I know I don’t want him smoking that anymore but… I kinda wanna smoke it with him..
Let’s put it this way.. as long as he smokes with me and me only, I’m okay with it because..I only smoke it when I can get a hold of some (which is usually never -.-)
Baby when you smoke that special plant again.. you drift away from me and your friends.. you become addicted. I may have said some things that hurt and have caused you to want to leave earlier..and I’m sorry; but someone had to open your eyes.. I’m sorry it had to be me :[ I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch lately. I guess my emotions are so mixed. I’m feeling depressed, worried, in love.. and I’m going insane at the thought of not being able to feel your touch for so long. I may not show how much I love you when I’m with you, but trust me.. you’re everything I ever think about..♥
After all the shit I’ve done jokingly.. and you not liking every post that you know is about you anymore on Facebook makes me think that you don’t love me like you used to. Or better yet.. be in love with me.. :/ Sometimes I wish I could read your mind or read your heart.. that way I could know what I was doing wrong.. I honestly hope and pray that you won’t find someone else over there :/ I don’t know what I’d do without you..
